Writing a Meaningful Obituary: What You Need to Know

An obituary lets people know about a death and honors the person’s life. This article will help you write and publish an obituary, whether for a loved one or as part of your own estate planning. You’ll find out what an obituary is, what to include, where and when to publish it, and how to leave clear instructions for your family.

What is an Obituary?

An obituary is a notice that appears after someone dies. It shares the news of their death and gives details about their life. Obituaries often include information about funeral or memorial services and may mention if the family prefers donations or has other wishes.

Where to Publish an Obituary

If you’re learning how to post an obituary, you’ll find that you have several options. You can publish obituaries in print, such as newspapers, newsletters, or magazines, or online on memorial websites, newspaper sites, or social media. Think about which places would best honor your loved one. For example, you might choose newspapers from where they lived or worked, their employer’s newsletter, or even magazines if they were well known in their field.

Print Obituaries

If the person was well known in their community or profession, newspapers might print a detailed obituary or even a feature article for free. For most families, the length of a printed obituary depends on the newspaper’s rules, the cost, and what the family wants to share. If you pay for a newspaper obituary, it’s often posted on the newspaper’s website too, though there may be an extra fee.

You might have heard the terms death notice vs. obituary. In the past, death notices were short, paid announcements from families, while obituaries were longer pieces written by newspaper staff. Today, most newspapers don't make this distinction anymore and publish both types together. In this article, we use "obituary" to refer to both.

Online Obituaries

Online obituaries have some benefits over print obituaries. They usually let you write more, cost less, and allow you to add photos and videos. They also give friends and family from anywhere a place to share memories and condolences, creating a collection of tributes from people near and far.

There are several ways to publish an online obituary. If you’re wondering how to submit an obituary, you have multiple options. Many newspapers automatically post their print obituaries on sites like Legacy.com. Funeral homes often offer online obituary services, as well. You can also create a private memorial website yourself, without using a newspaper or funeral home. Most memorial websites have free basic options, with paid upgrades for more features like unlimited photos or videos. Try searching for "memorial website" to see what’s available.

When to Publish an Obituary

You might think obituaries are always published right after someone dies, but the timing can vary. It’s usually best to publish the obituary within a week of the death, or as soon as it’s ready. Think about whether it’s important to let people know quickly, but also give yourself time to write a meaningful tribute.

It’s especially important to think about timing if the obituary includes funeral or memorial service details. Give people a few days’ notice so they can make plans to attend. Online obituaries can be posted quickly, but if you’re using a newspaper, check how much advance notice they need and plan ahead.

How to Write an Obituary

Writing an obituary can be hard, especially when you’re grieving. If you’re wondering who writes an obituary, the answer is usually a family member or close friend, though some people write their own in advance. Whether you’re writing for someone else or preparing your own, having a clear outline can make the process easier.

A good obituary shares the story of someone’s life in a meaningful way. It usually starts with basic facts like the person’s name, age, where they lived, and when they died, then gives details about funeral or memorial services. The main part of the obituary highlights who they were, what they did, and what was important to them.

What to Include in an Obituary

There’s no single right way to write an obituary, but most follow similar obituary guidelines and include common types of information. How long and detailed it is depends on where you publish it and your own preferences. When deciding what to include, think about these topics:

• where and when you were born
• family information, including the names of your spouse or partner, children, grandchildren, parents, and siblings
• where you went to school
• information about your work
• military service
• community or recreational organizations
• awards or achievements
• special interests or hobbies
• whether or not you want people to send flowers in your name
• whether or not you want people to make donations to a particular charity or organization in your name, and
• anything else you'd like others to know or remember about you.

You might also want to choose a photo to go with your obituary. You can leave instructions about which photo you prefer and where your family can find it.

Obituary Samples

The samples below show different ways to write an obituary, from short notices to longer life stories. You can use them as examples when writing your own obituary or helping your family. Your local newspaper’s obituary section, in print or online, can also give you ideas for style and structure.

OBITUARY SAMPLE 1: Patricia Rose Davis, 72, of Cedar Rapids, died Monday, March 18, in Iowa City. Funeral services will be at 2 p.m. Wednesday at St. Mark’s Lutheran Church in Cedar Rapids.

OBITUARY SAMPLE 2: Patricia Rose Davis, 72, of Cedar Rapids, died Monday, March 18, in Iowa City. A native of Burlington, Vermont, and a graduate of the University of Michigan Law School, Ms. Davis worked as an environmental attorney and was a founding partner of Davis & Thompson, a Cedar Rapids environmental law firm. She is survived by her husband, Robert Chen of Cedar Rapids, and two daughters, Michelle Davis of Chicago and Jennifer Davis of Minneapolis. Services will be at 2 p.m. on Wednesday at St. Mark’s Lutheran Church in Cedar Rapids.

OBITUARY SAMPLE 3: Robert Chen, 75, of Cedar Rapids, died Saturday, July 22, in Iowa City. A native of Des Moines, Mr. Chen was an ardent supporter of environmental causes in Linn County and one of the founders of the Iowa River Education Program, a series of programs that integrate environmental concerns into local class studies. In 2002, Mr. Chen created the Cedar Rapids Watershed Alliance to preserve the Cedar River watershed and plant and animal life. Mr. Chen also served on the Board of the Iowa Farmland Trust.

Mr. Chen was the son of Helen and Thomas Chen of Des Moines. His father, Thomas Chen, served as Des Moines' city manager and city attorney. Mr. Chen attended the University of Iowa and received paralegal certification from Drake University. He worked for twelve years as a paralegal in Des Moines, specializing in environmental law, before marrying Patricia Davis in 1978. Patricia Davis passed away in 2024.

He is survived by two daughters, Michelle Davis of Chicago and Jennifer Davis of Minneapolis. Services are at 2 p.m. on Wednesday at St. Mark's Lutheran Church in Cedar Rapids. In lieu of flowers, memorial contributions can be sent to the Iowa Farmland Trust, P.O. Box 450, Iowa City, IA 52240.

Leaving Instructions for Your Obituary

When you make an estate plan, whether it’s a simple will or something more detailed, think about adding instructions for your obituary. While obituaries aren’t required, they can be meaningful tributes, and leaving guidance can make things easier for your family during a tough time. Here are some options:

Write your own obituary. If you choose this approach, described just above, clearly document where the obituary is stored so your family can easily locate it.

Provide guidelines to help your loved ones write your obituary. You might specify key details you want included, such as particular accomplishments, organizations, or charitable causes. The “How to Write an Obituary” section above offers suggestions for topics to address.

Indicate your publication preferences. Whether you write a full obituary or offer suggestions, you may also want to let your family know where you'd like the obituary published, such as specific newspapers, your employer's newsletter, online memorial sites, or other venues.

State that you don't want an obituary. Some people prefer not to have one published, and making this clear can spare your family from uncertainty.

You might want to put your instructions in a longer letter that covers all your final wishes, such as burial, cremation, a memorial service, and more. To learn more, see Writing a Final Wishes Document.

More Information About Estate Planning

Writing or planning an obituary might seem like a small part of estate planning, but it can be a gift to your loved ones. By taking time now to write an obituary or leave clear instructions, you help make sure your story is told the way you want. Most importantly, you make things a little easier for your family during a hard time.

The articles below can help you learn more about estate planning:

• What Is Estate Planning
• Writing a Final Wishes Document
• Pre-Planning a Funeral
• How to Find an Estate Planning Lawyer

You can find out more about making an estate plan with WillMaker in WillMaker’s Legal Manual.